Her Final Gasp For The Night

From a strange moment in time:

~ my evening ritual was playing out as it had every night for months now, months since the first time I heard the sound of a wine glass flying through the air towards my head … still don’t quite know how I heard it but am grateful just the same, she missed …

I had dumped the last of her gallon jug a wine down the sink an hour ago … she wouldn’t pass out till she knew it was empty, but I had to be careful to make sure she had a few glasses in her before I began my stealth …

It seemed a strange movie to be caught in, a permanent WTF on my face most days, yet the script ran on and repeated as her body let out the final gasp for the night, my hand catching her wine glass as hers relaxed and dropped it … a cigarette precariously dangling from 2 fingers in her other hand, removed slowly, gently so as not to wake her …

another night when she likely would have burned up in her sleep was entered into safely … and I wondered why?

7 billion people on this planet, damn near a million within 30-40 miles and somehow I am tied to one who promised on more than one occasion to make my life a living hell … kept her promise too, a woman of her word …

I see meme after meme and obtuse comments to make one cringe about men, how they must do this, they must accept that, or they are pigs, or they just can’t deal, on and on and on and on while men like the one I played over and over again struggled to recover from the damage done when they tried to ‘deal’ tried to ‘accept’ …………………….

and why? why? how even, were any of us able to believe long enough to take the beatings, clean up the broken wine glass so she wouldn’t cut her feet … dump that wine so she wouldn’t completely poison herself … till eventually through survival instinct alone we walk/run into the class that smart, trending folk now call MGTOW

I’ve seen this on the other side as well … even as a youth I witnessed a lady down the road who loved a man through one drunken beating after another until one night she educated him with an iron skillet after he had finished beating her and passed out … He never hit her again.

As a taxi driver in Austin I had a standing order, if a woman called for help there were to be no questions, give her a ride to safety and the company would pay the bill … but again, in each case, a last straw had been pulled after what for some of them had been years of trying to love the person, trying to be the one they knew would always be there … Why?

The last of the smart ones to question me have only one question left. Were we really creating/healing something or just enabling assholes our whole lives?

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About Amandil

Lover, Dreamer, Freelance Writer

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